Countdown to Baby — Part 2

I’m in a near constant state of brain fog now, drastically compromising my ability to remember the fact that I have a blog, and even though I promised to post a status update every day, I failed to take into account how many naps I need. What I have had no trouble remembering, however, is that I’m still pregnant. I’ve also become pretty adept at making these last days of pregnancy the business of everyone around me as well.

Randy: “Ouch, my arm hurts from my TDAP.”

Me: “I’m still pregnant. Where’s my milkshake?”

My mom: “Should I get the new iPad?”

Me: “I’m still pregnant. Where are my cookies?”

My dog: ** imploring eyes **

Me: “I’m still pregnant. Fetch me that Halloween candy.”

Aside from passing the time by making demands of the people I love, I am also trying to absorb and enact your suggestions. So far, nothing has started labor, but because I move SO SLOWLY, many of these suggestions actually pass a LOT OF TIME because it takes me FOREVER to do them.

SUGGESTION: POWER WALKING

We live in the hills near the San Francisco Bay, so finding a good place to power walk is as easy as walking out our front door. When we moved into this house, I took a gander at these stairs across street and thought, Lord help the suckers who climb those. These days, I’m the sucker.

everything hurts.

SUGGESTION: HULA HOOPING

I did it. That’s all I have to say about that.

SUGGESTION: THE HORIZONTAL HULA

To the SO VERY MANY of you who continue to suggest sex, we hear you.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more, unless these suggestions work and actually coax baby out; in that case I will be busy petitioning the American Pregnancy Association to add hula hooping to their list of ways to induce labor, then sitting back and waiting for the YouTube videos to roll in. Also, I will be busy keeping a new human alive.

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