Part 4: Hail Mary

There’s no easy path to IVF, because nothing about coming to that decision feels good. Before couples choose IVF, they have had their hearts broken, maybe irretrievably. They’ve been on the receiving end of crushing news, perhaps more than once, perhaps many times. And they’ve resigned themselves to the fact that their family makeup had been decided for them, but for this one last Hail Mary. Continue reading “Part 4: Hail Mary”

Part 3: In the Bleak Midwinter

The anesthesiologist spoke with a slow, thick drawl I felt more than I heard. He was tall and sturdy, wide with muscles that flexed when he talked. He was a long way from our Tennessee hills, but he seemed right at home next to my hospital bed, laughing thunderously at his own jokes while a nurse threaded IV fluids through a tube to the catheter in my forearm. Continue reading “Part 3: In the Bleak Midwinter”

Part 2: And Then the Rains Came

I recall exactly zero details about how we came to know I was pregnant. I was still in a fog from having just become intimately acquainted with medical terms no person with access to Google should ever be in possession of, and while miraculously turning up pregnant should have cured my depression overnight, it didn’t, not exactly anyway. I was happy, or maybe relieved is more accurate, and I managed to forgive that bullshit fertility doctor who called me old when I am fresh and shiny as the morning dew, but I wasn’t over the moon. Edges were soft; a hazy sheen muted the good times.

Continue reading “Part 2: And Then the Rains Came”

Part 1: The Heatwave

In 2014, I wrote a series of essays chronicling our son’s journey to us, and I opened the series with a vignette I figured would come back to haunt me, but I wrote it anyway, like an asshole.

Continue reading “Part 1: The Heatwave”

Countdown to Baby: EDD TODAY

I’m in a near constant state of brain fog now, drastically compromising my ability to remember the fact that I have a blog, and even though I promised to post a status update every day, I failed to take into account how many naps I need. What I have had no trouble remembering, however, is that I’m still pregnant. Continue reading “Countdown to Baby: EDD TODAY”

Countdown to Baby: T-minus Two Days to EDD

A week or so ago when I signed off my last post with “see y’all on the other side!” I was saying it like so because I sort of believed this baby would be joining us….like….imminently. I didn’t have any reason to believe that; it was just wishful thinking, a type of thought that could be described in some quarters and medical communities as “delusional.” Continue reading “Countdown to Baby: T-minus Two Days to EDD”

The Homestretch

Apologies in advance to my mother, who upon reading the following fact will undoubtedly shudder in horror at the thought of me having sex (gross!) on a fateful day 37 weeks and four days ago, but as of this writing, I am 37 weeks and four days pregnant. Continue reading “The Homestretch”

Pick’em Pool: Baby Nattis Edition

I’m a lifelong baseball fan. I GET baseball. I am really, really terrible at math, unless it’s baseball math, and then I am still pretty terrible at math but I GET IT slightly more and hate it slightly less. When I think about raising our kids in a STEM-focused household I always say to myself, “and Imma start with baseball.” Continue reading “Pick’em Pool: Baby Nattis Edition”

Yes, I’m Enormous, Thanks For Noticing

Depending on who you are or how well you know me or what time of day you read these posts, your feedback vis-à-vis your perception of my overall pregnancy experience has ranged from me suffering utter misery to me enjoying ecstatic bliss. You are all 100 percent exactly accurate. Continue reading “Yes, I’m Enormous, Thanks For Noticing”

The Great Debate: Do Babies Change Friendships? Or, an Ode to My Friends

After recovering from the initial shock of discovering we’ve signed ourselves up for a lifetime of being overworked, underslept, cash-strapped zombies (LOL JK I will never recover from that), I began to seek out resources for how to manage everything we will be taking on as new parents. Obsessively and probably unnecessarily. Continue reading “The Great Debate: Do Babies Change Friendships? Or, an Ode to My Friends”