10 Things You Will Learn in Your First Year as a Parent, If You Are Me

Although my son is a mere 9 months old, I am writing about what we as new parents learn in the first year because then I get to pat myself on the back for posting this ahead of schedule, which I would have done anyway because I’m a mom and I can do whatever I want. I reserve the right to amend any and all lessons learned this time next year when we’re on the backside of toddlerhood, but for now, on the backside of infancy, this is what we know. Continue reading “10 Things You Will Learn in Your First Year as a Parent, If You Are Me”

A Baby Story — Part 3

Monday, November 3, 2014, 9 a.m.
Labor Hour 9

The passage of time during childbirth is completely confounding, especially to someone who lives with her head in the clouds and who may also be prone to exaggeration. Continue reading “A Baby Story — Part 3”

A Baby Story — Part 2

Monday, November 3, 2014, 3 a.m.
Labor Hour 3

Fortunately for Randy and the lifelong health of our young marriage, he eventually realized “I need you” was code for “this is happening with or without you, so pick a side.” Continue reading “A Baby Story — Part 2”

A Baby Story — Part 1

This is my baby story. There are many like it, but this one is mine. Continue reading “A Baby Story — Part 1”

I’m a Mom

“I’M A MOM.”

That’s my defense for anything amiss in my new life. It’s a seamless and natural way of excusing my inadequate short-term memory and hygiene. Continue reading “I’m a Mom”

Countdown to Baby: EDD TODAY

I’m in a near constant state of brain fog now, drastically compromising my ability to remember the fact that I have a blog, and even though I promised to post a status update every day, I failed to take into account how many naps I need. What I have had no trouble remembering, however, is that I’m still pregnant. Continue reading “Countdown to Baby: EDD TODAY”

Countdown to Baby: T-minus Two Days to EDD

A week or so ago when I signed off my last post with “see y’all on the other side!” I was saying it like so because I sort of believed this baby would be joining us….like….imminently. I didn’t have any reason to believe that; it was just wishful thinking, a type of thought that could be described in some quarters and medical communities as “delusional.” Continue reading “Countdown to Baby: T-minus Two Days to EDD”

The Homestretch

Apologies in advance to my mother, who upon reading the following fact will undoubtedly shudder in horror at the thought of me having sex (gross!) on a fateful day 37 weeks and four days ago, but as of this writing, I am 37 weeks and four days pregnant. Continue reading “The Homestretch”

Pick’em Pool: Baby Nattis Edition

I’m a lifelong baseball fan. I GET baseball. I am really, really terrible at math, unless it’s baseball math, and then I am still pretty terrible at math but I GET IT slightly more and hate it slightly less. When I think about raising our kids in a STEM-focused household I always say to myself, “and Imma start with baseball.” Continue reading “Pick’em Pool: Baby Nattis Edition”

Yes, I’m Enormous, Thanks For Noticing

Depending on who you are or how well you know me or what time of day you read these posts, your feedback vis-à-vis your perception of my overall pregnancy experience has ranged from me suffering utter misery to me enjoying ecstatic bliss. You are all 100 percent exactly accurate. Continue reading “Yes, I’m Enormous, Thanks For Noticing”